Your Wedding May Not Be Perfect…
…it’s more honest that way.
The wedding industry is built on the trends of the day—what makes them money now may not be what’s important to you tomorrow. Additionally, many photographers fail to slow down and look at their own craft; they may even push you into photos because it’s what they need for their portfolio.
Pursuing only what sells, rather than what’s important and sustains, is a tricky model. Social media, magazines, movies, wedding corporations, etc. demand your wedding be a certain way, a certain style—an unrealistic statue of perfection—rather than an honest reflection of a relationship. For many, these demands place a pressure on you that you may not even notice.
I love this photo because it tells a bigger story. The groom’s arm reaches out of the driver’s side door of the Volkswagen; the bride’s sibling holds flowers to the right, and the bride rushes through the rain to get into the car for the reception.
Sit with yourself for a few breaths and ask, do you need your wedding to be a certain way? Does your wedding need to be perfect? Are you feeling stressed out, nervous, or agitated? Basically, has the focus shifted away from your partner and more toward what others will think? If so, this may be a sign that you’re in someone else’s world, not your own. It’s a sign that industry has relayed expectations rooted in this fantasy dream world, not in your individual love.
As kids, we begin getting messages and molding the perfect day. However, weddings, like life, are NOT perfect. As much as you try to ensure your day goes exactly as planned, things will come up. It may be rain, it may be Grandma getting lit off cocktails, who knows!? What I want couples to remember is the moment—that these people have joined together for you. Family and friends coming together is often a rare, beautiful occasion. Even if there were no photos, no food, no drink, love alone would be something to cherish and celebrate.
You’d think that having a wedding in Mexico you’d escape the rain, but no. Here, the couple waits as a downpour occurs just before their ceremony. Even so, their wedding was beautiful.
As a documentary-style wedding photographer I try to keep the couple present. This is a moment, perfect or not, where you, family, and friends have come to appreciate your love. It’s space to be with each other. As a photographer, I want to preserve that fleeting moment. Taking you away for posing is only done strategically. I watch for a moment, when time away from the crowd might bring relief.
In photos, I include the details. What’s lying on the table may look like a mess now, but in 40 years it will tell a story of time. It will help bring a sense of wonder and inspiration, “wow! We’ve been married and endured so much! Look at that old-ass iPhone!” Some of my client’s favorite photos are often the most surprising to me. What looks like an ordinary scene can hold so much meaning to an individual.
In this photo, Mr. Riojas mentioned to me, that as a kid, he used to sit at the table with his head down, bored, during celebrations. His kid does the same here, as he and his partner dance in the background. His connection to this moment was a visceral one. Social media will not be able to replicate that type of photo, nor will anyone else understand it. If I had removed what someone may have seen as imperfect, the moment would’ve been lost.
I don’t try to take you from the day, in fact I will remind you of its beauty. One thing I’ve learned after 10 years with my partner is that our relationship is also imperfect, but it’s beautiful. I cherish this person more than a photo and more than a like on social media. I know we will find the rain, and that’s just part of it.
